There has been a tragic accident in our city. An 11-year-old girl was killed when she tripped and fell under a trailer being towed in the annual Christmas parade. This little girl did not have to die.
This is a rant in the making, so get ready.
I am so tired of hearing people placing blame on others for their failures. Their failure to take proper care of their children and their failure to take responsibility when they are in the wrong. Why do people keep blaming everyone else for their failures?
The reports are saying that the little girl was jumping on and off of the float. I know, FOR A FACT, that the adults around her were told to not let her do that. SHE WAS TOLD NOT TO AND DID ANYWAY. Now this little girl was just a little girl. While she was old enought to grasp the concept of right and wrong, she chose to either ignore the adults responsible for her or she was never told to stop.
Let's say for a minute that she was told to stop and chose not to listen. Where does this attitude come from? It comes from the parents not being the parents and making the kids understand that any adult who tells you to do something that is for your safety is to be listened to. I see so many kids these days who do not get that they are just kids and they are not in charge. Parents these days seem to think that they need to bow down to their kids and let them rule the house. You see it all the time on the road if you look. Ever see kids jumping around the car without their seatbelts on? Why aren't they buckled in? Because the parents don't make them, that's why.
So, the parents of this child need to sit back and realize that they are the ultimate reason this child is lost. If they had taught their child that they don't get to just do whatever the hell that she wanted to do when she wanted to do it, she might still be with her family. That's what I get out of this story.
People: Stop letting your children run over you. Beat their asses when they need it. Punish them. Take away the video games and crap that they think they need. Stop being afraid of being accused of child abuse because that is a cop out. No one is ever going to tell me that if my children need to be spanked that I can't do it. If they need it at school, I will be the one to go there and do it, and they know it. They know that if they choose to do the wrong thing they will suffer the penalty. Why are parents so afraid these days?
If this seems harsh to you maybe you need to reevaulate your parenting skills. I don't apologize for my feelings on this issue. I just know that I have three boys who, for the most part, don't talk back to me. They don't get in trouble in school - not one of them has ever been sent to the office. They are polite, they are well mannered and they are respectful. They don't run the roads after dark (yeah they are still young, but there are kids in our neighborhood who roam all hours of the night), as a matter of fact, they know that when it gets dark they need to come inside. I am not saying they are perfect. I still have to keep them still in church (Nick and David anyway) and I still have to quiet them down a lot in public. But that is nothing. Yeah, I am bragging. I have a right to. I have good kids. How did they get that way?
I have told them that if they want to misbehave at school, I will be there to wield the paddle. If they get in trouble with the law and need to be put in jail, they just might spend the night there. I am not going to buy them a car when they turn 16, the have to earn the money for it themselves. I won't even pay the insurance. In other words, I don't spoil them. In return, I have kids who know what is expected of them and they do what they are told. I don't have brats who cry and scream every time I tell them no. And, when I say yes, it truly is a treat.
Rant over.
2 years ago
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2 comments:
What a sad thing. And I totally agree with you. We as parents are the ones whose responsibility it is to take control of our children.
Thanks for the compliment on my header...I make it in photoshop. Since I'm lacking in blog fodder this week, I'll do a header tutorial. I don't know how to do them other than in photoshop, though, so if you don't have that, I don't know! Installing it is easy, though, once it's made.
Kim, I completely agree with you that kids these days are completely out of control. I just don't understand it when I see a parent tell their child to do something, see the kid backtalk, do something completely opposite - and see the parent just sigh like they have no control over it. Neither one of my kids have any illusions about what would happen if they backtalked me...far less do the opposite of what I told them...FAR FAR less backtalk AND do the opposite of what I told them. I can tell you this...it wouldn't be a sigh of resignation. It would be a trip to the ladies room for a swift dispensation of their consequence.
I love them too much to allow them to disobey without consequences...and that's what I tell them. I also tell them all the time: You must obey me for safety. The situation you talked about being a prime example. You just never know what situaion you could find yourself in...and you need your kids to do WHAT you say WHEN you say it. PERIOD!
And then there's the whole respect issue. Respect starts at home. If they can't even show respect for their parents and siblings, how are they going to learn respect for friends, other adults, leaders, people in authority positions, etc.? There will be times when they will need to obey others in authority...out of respect AND for safety...like in parades, hayrides, field trips and God only knows what else.
People tell me all the time that I have very well-mannered little girls and ask me how I "get them" to act that way. It's called discipline. It's called caring enough to do the hard work and looking past the tears and sometimes the manipulations of those precious, sweet, beautiful blue eyes and going the distance to teach the hard lessons. It's not easy.
Certainly my kids aren't perfect. GOD no. They ARE five after all. But like yours...they know that if they misbehave away from home...God help them when they get home...there's gonna be a consequence. They are gonna get the choice between a spanking or something VERY beloved taken away for a long time...and sometimes no choice at all.
All that said...I will stop short of blaming the parents of the little girl that died. From what I understand there were other kids jumping on and off as well. Sometimes when one kid does something, others join in. Even the most well-behaved obedient kids want to get in on the action of their friends. Only those that were there really know what happened, and I just can't see placing blame on already grieving parents that I don't know. They may have had the same parenting philosophies we have...I just don't know. So I'd rather not blame them since I don't know...know what I mean?
I don't know if there is anyone to blame. Sometimes terrible things just happen.
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